I guess I need to start with where my thoughts went wrong. History is a good place to start... then I'll be able to explain where I'm going, and how.
In 2005, I got married to my college boyfriend. We were happy-ish... but not deep down. We probably should have never gotten married and both of us know that now. I was 420 lbs when we got married. I was miserable and sad.
In March of 2006, I had gastric bypass surgery. I got down to 240. Then my life went to hell.
In January of 2007, my husband and I moved to Dallas, Tx from Orlando, Fl. I knew no one, and to boot, I started a new job in a new field. In July, I found out my husband was talking to another girl on the east coast. He was talking about going up there to live. Stupidly, I bought a house with him a month later. He said he had changed. I tried to believe him. I tried for months to believe him. However, I think I was just DONE. By Christmas, I was so miserable that I couldn't stand anything any more. I asked for a divorce. He refused. This continued for months. I shut down. I started drinking and partying all the time. Nearly every day. One day, I stopped wearing my rings. A month later, he realized, and finally said OK to our divorce. I moved out, and started drinking every single day. I moved in with a friend and was still eating and drinking. Well, I kept gaining weight. Eventually I got my own place and met someone. I filed for divorce and started dating the other guy. I started going to Houston on my off days.
In January of 2009, my divorce was finalized. By March, I had moved to Houston. I flew back and forth to Dallas every day for work. In September, I transferred my job to Houston. Within a month of that, he and I were on the rocks. HARD. In November, my aunt had a horrible car wreck and passed away. My life was shaken harder than a martini. He and I broke up and I moved in with someone. During the time during my divorce and while I was with the new guy, I had gained quite a bit of weight. Depression will do that. After 4 months, I was able to move out on my own. I was finally able to start putting my life back together. With in a couple of months, I was stronger. I was on my own, paying for all my own things and life was good!
On May 5th, I was browsing okcupid.com and saw an amusing profile. He was interesting. He was honest - which was a change. He laid out all his "flaws". But I really didn't see them that way. He spoke several languagaes. I was most fascinated about that... so I used it as a point to email him. The emails went on for a few days. Those turned into texts and then phone calls. We met for the first time on May 13th. We've been dating ever since. He's strong, sweet, and caring. He doesn't care about my flaws. My weight, that I smoked, that I drank or that I had baggage. We became best friends while we were dating. A month after we were dating, I quit smoking. We continued being happy...
Fast forward to today. We've moved into a house. We have 2 dogs and a cat. He came with a dog and I came with a cat. The other dog was adopted by the two of us. It's our little family. We're so happy. In January, I started trying to lose weight. It lasted about a month... I lost 30 lbs in that month. It didn't last because I didn't have will power. I'm back at it now...
I started 3 weeks ago. I was at 293.5. I weighed this morning and now I'm at 281.5. 12 lbs in 3 weeks isn't so bad. This is my first wish... My first plan. I want to lose weight. I'm doing the Atkins diet and some sort of excersise every day. It's a little difficult, but not overly hard. My final goal weight is under 200. I haven't been under 200 since middle school. So, I'm not sure what that even looks like. I have a motivation for this weight loss. The motivation is a dress. This guy is the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me. We are so perfect together. We have never really fought. We have a ton of fun together. He loves me and I love him. I never thought I'd want to be in this place again... but I am. That leads me to my second wish...
I want to get married. I want Elvis to ask me. We have been together for over 1.5 years. I have thought he was going to do it so many times this year... But so far, nothing! I'm dying for him to ask me. We have Vegas coming up in a little over a month. I hope he will ask me then. It would be so amazing. :) I know I should just be enjoying the ride... and I am.. but still. :)
So those are my wishes. Eventually, there will be a third. A baby. But for now, I'll settle with losing weight and getting married. :)
I'll probably be posting more about weight loss, atleast until Elvis asks me. Then this will probably become a wedding blog. :) Ahhh the possibilities!
Elvis and I on top of the Ferris Wheel
February, 2011
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